OMG! Fancy-Number Calendar Dates!!

(This was written for 11.11.11, but is applicable for any date, like all the 12.12.12 hype people are stupidly frothing at the mouth about right now)

Human stupidity knows no bounds. An example of this is staring us in the face today where we have another fancy-number date on the calendar. And as it always is when such numbers appear, people are drooling and orgasming all over the internet and in real life because as we all know, some numbers appearing in a certain sequence on a time tracking mechanism we ourselves created will ensure health, wealth, riches, love, prosperity, happiness and World peace. I got SMSes, my Twitter stream and Facebook wall are dripping with 11.11.11 drool. The most abject point of contention screams: “THIS DATE WILL APPEAR ONLY ONCE EVERY 100 YEARS! ONLY ONCE IN OUR LIFETIME!! OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!” Sigh. Well, what to expect from today’s idiotic people who make things like Justin Bieber and Twilight look like the cream of human civilization? If you would like to hear, I will let you in on a little secret.

It is not just the fancy-number ones, but any date will appear only once in 100 years! And if you care to include the year in 4 digit format, it will appear only once. Just once. Ever. Now that is mind boggling.

Today morning, I saw a bozo shouting all excited into his phone: “Happy 11.11.11, yaar!” Seriously? Happy? Celebrate? All just because of a calendar date? Do these people wish each other on, say, June 29th or September 16th also? f anyone plans to celebrate 11.11.11, I would say they should celebrate 14.05.11 also! It does induce valid numerological and mathematical curiosity, that is understandable and I can live with it. For example, the only date that will have the same digit and so on. Here are some more interpretations. But wait till you get a load of this. People actually consider this day as “auspicious!” And “blessed!” #Facepalm

It is manageable to an extent when people are just stupid. But when they are stupid and superstitious. Check this out here. Wishlists of people for this “auspicious” day range from giving birth to buying cars and gold and what not. Not surprising this report comes from Kerala, where people are apparently only literate but not educated enough and superstitious as any other Indian. But we have to appreciate the foresight, pain of meticulous planning and copious coitus at the exact right time undergone by scheming people to produce the perfect offspring and probable next ruler of the world will emerge on this auspicious moment of symmetrical calendar numbers.

Babies born on fancy number dates will obviously be Supermen/women. They will go on to finish their MBA (in all streams) by the time they are 15 years old. They will first solve the world’s poverty problems, then go on to play Cricket and break all of Tendulkar’s records. Later they will disprove Einstein’s theorems and invent AI and technical singularity and find the cure for cancer. They also will have the strength of 10 Sunny Deols and be near immortal. All this apart, I have a doubt about the superiority among fancy-number babies. I mean, how does this numerical superiority thing work? Will 11.11.11 babies have an advantage over 10.10.10 babies? Will 12.12.12 babies have an ever better advantage? What about not-straight-line hand babies, like 07.08.09 babies or 01.02.03 babies? I think we will have a global war of succession. I feel sorry for the poor kids. And I guess vehicles bought on this day will run on nothing but piss and air.

Then there are people who believe this date is the mark of the Devil, (I really don’t remember what had happened on 06.06.06, and I was not alive in the year 666) resulting in global cataclysms and so on. Another set of screwballs, mostly from the US, believe that like it does on any other fancy number day, the World will end on this day. There is no reason to believe not, though, because the Universe can end the next minute. Then there are people set out to party citing 111111 as a reason. Which is even more lame. Why should have anyone have a reason to party? We party because we want to party! \m/

I think we are forgetting something. The Gregorian calendar that most of the World follows, was not handed over to man by God from the Mount of Sinai or Himalayas. It was created by the Romans and perfected by many people, mainly Julius ans Augustus Caesar and many others over the centuries. If any one of them had screwed up a wee bit, there wouldn’t have been 30 days in this month or even 12 months in a year and we would not have had 11.11.11 today. Or, if the year system was not invented as it is now, and if AD was not started when it was supposed to start, 2011 would not have been 2011. Same was applicable for the 2000 hysteria. This date, or any date, has got nothing to do with Astrology or Astronomy, stars or planets. And the whole gets even more ridiculous if you look at the American system of upside down counting. And let us not get started about all the other calendars many people use.

It is not as if people are gloating about a date with that hot chick they had. In which case, they totally should gloat. We are worshiping numbers created us us, on a time-keeping device that we ourselves created. It is just another damn day. People will wake up, get stuck in traffic, curse, swear, work, earn, lose, eat, drink, play, watch TV, have sex and sleep. It is meaningless. I hope to God that the human race is viewed for some reason in favorable terms by whoever it is ruling the Universe. Else we are all doomed.

Seriously, it is just a number on a piece of paper.
Tags
%d bloggers like this: