Any Indian worth his travel bag will swear that traveling in India is a huge fail whale. Airports are located in areas where just getting there is a half day’s job. Trains are overbooked, chaotic, slow and of course, late. Buses run when they want to, and usually seem to all places except where you want to go to. Want to drive? Of course, wish you luck dodging crawling trucks, rickety buses, cattle and random crazy people on ALL lanes of that spanking new ‘expressway’.
The Bangalore – Kerala – Bangalore route has been over booked from the beginning of time, and the only regular overnight ‘Express’ train is an overcrowded, overbooked, over-slow, over-stinking, over-late monstrosity that shouldnt be recommended even to your sadistic boss. Tickets for the boring Volvo and otherwise rectangular metal enclosures they call buses can be had only on direct payout of hard (or not) earned money through your nasal orifices. Even then, you might/might not reach your destination in your original physical proportions.
Vadakkus, a regular traveler on the Bangalore – Kerala – Bangalore route, was lucky enough for his ticket to be denied. So he decided to don the cape of the KLBLRTraveler and take to the road. Follow his odyssey as reported by him on Twitter, as he makes his way through three states and 16 cups of chai. Recommend you too should do the same atleast once to spice up drab, boring lives. Just for Horror! :)
Road trippin’ gives you an awesome sense of freedom, as long as you can keep lesser mortals who think you are crazy at bay. Its the journey that matters, not the destination. Sadly said lesser mortals don’t seem to get that. Vadakkus traveling as #KLBLRTraveler live-tweeted his “road trip” of a bus-hopping odyssey, by his own means. So read on! You might learn something :)
Starting on a bus hopping #Kerala–#Bangalore journey. Leaving Kottayam for Ernakulam. Leg 1 #KeralaBangaloretrip
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
I am now among the masses, a #KLBLRTraveler. Like HG Wells Time Traveler. #KeralaBangaloretrip
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler is enroute to Etumanoor on a slow moving KSRTC bus #KeralaBangaloreTrip
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler is enroute to Etumanoor on a slow moving KSRTC bus #KeralaBangaloreTrip
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler doesnot take point2point travel, He chooses his points, stops and way and mode #keralabangaloretrip
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler on one of the legendary Kottayam #Ernakulam private LS buses. Theres never enough speed
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler becomes aware of a 'socially empowered' (drunk) #mallu in the bus loudly questioning why there are people in the bus #kerala
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler can see thick dark rainclouds everywhere. In the sky that is. Gonna rain soon :) T'parambu Kanjiramattam Piravom #kerala
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler Enters Ernakulam district. Vaikom-Tripunitra road. Rain disappears. FM turned on. Nice.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler gets down at Vytila supposedly #kerala busiest highway junction and frowns as a #KSRTC superfast goes roaring by.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler takes a citybus from Vytila to Ravipuram. Why is the bus full of ppl speaking strange languages?? #kerala #ernakulam
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler finds that branded stuff in #Ernakulam #Kochi is costlier than that in #Bangalore!
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler sweating buckets in #ernakulam #kerala humidity is a bitch! Stay hydrated.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler boards a #KSRTC superfast to #Trissur. Goodbye #Ernakulam. Was nice sweating here.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler frowns at a poster of #mallu movie #thanthonni. #WTF is prithviraj trying to do?? #malayalam #kerala
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler passes the under construction LULU mall in Edapalli #kochi. Proposed largest mall in #india it seems
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#LULU mall in #Kochi. Largest in #India. #KLBLRTraveler licks his lips thinking abt the delicious #Traffic snarls in offering there. #kerala
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KSRTC #kerala Superfast ripping the road like theres no tomorrow.. Just overtook a train #DCH style! #KLBLRTraveler:Wow!
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLRBLRTraveler passing angamali in the Superfast which is driven as if other vehicles on the road are mere apparitions. #kerala
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
Wooow! The #kerala #KSRTC Superfast just overtook a #Karnataka KSRTC #Volvo!
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler passes Hotels Runs and Richus near Angamali, where unexciting Volvos to #Bangalore stop for dinner.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KSRTC #Kerala Superfast overtakes two cars and a container truck in a way which almost stopped #KLBLRTravelers Heart!
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler reaches #Chalakudy. Passes skeletons of half finished flyovers which have been there for the past 5 years #kerala
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler passes another would be flyover at Kodakara. And another bus. This is the fifth one overtaken. #KSRTC Superfast
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler wondering why so many #Swift Dezires in #Kerala.. They are like the dumbest cars #maruti has brought out
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler reaches #Trissur from #Ernakulam 80 km in 1 hr 33 min. Gr8 feat considering roads and fuckall #kerala traffic
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler chilling out at #Trissur #KSRTC bus stand.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
huuge crowd of sweating humanity at #trissur #ksrtc bus stand. #KLBLRTraveler wonders where all these people are going. #kerala
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler counts around 500 people in #trissur #ksrtc bus station. mass sweating humanity. Awesome nightlife :) #kerala
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler boards a #TamilNadu state #SETC bus to #Coimbatore, from #Trissur. Filled to the brim.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
@kaprasanna Third leg from #Trissur to #Coimbatore in progess. Thanks :) #KLBLRTraveler
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler knows that #Tamilnadu buses are rather slow. This one is barely inching along. #Whatacontrastto #kerala buses.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler passes #Mangalampalam, the famous stop before #Palakkad known for rows of shops selling Banana chips. #Kerala
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
The #Tamilnadu #SETC express bus is making good time now. Even managed to overtake a truck! #KLBLRTraveler: wOOt!
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler watches in dismay as a #Palakkad bound #kerala #KSRTC Expess overtakes his #SETC bus like a song & disappears in the night..
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#SETC bus needs 4 km to accelerate & build up speed to around 60kph. Anything comes in between, has to start all over again. #KLBLRTraveler
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
Bus entering #palakkad bus stand. #KLBLRTraveler preparing for the worst
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
A holy shit wave of humanity breaks on the bus. Some 20 ppl manage to squeeze themselves in. #KLBLRTraveler manages to clear breathin space
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler finds that #palakkad stinks equally bad as #kochi or #trissur. #kerala has consistency in something else other than hartals
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
The bus leaves #palakkad overloaded. Now it wont move at all, gearbox making all sorts of weird sounds #KLBLRTraveler
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
What #KLBLRTraveler doesnt understand is why dont #KSRTC & #TNSTC run night services between #palakkad & #coimbatore? #kerala #tamilnadu
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler witnesses yet another #accident. A truck & a (empty) tanker collide, truck was on wrong side. Bad. #palakkad #kerala
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler and the bus finally reach the Gap. #Palakkad. The dip in western ghats enabling #mallu emigration to other states #Kerala
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#Walayar – No truck jam tonight. Smooth passage :) #KLBLRTraveler #kerala #palakkad
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler leaves #kerala and passes into #tamilnadu.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
@kaprasanna :) thanks a lot for being online bro! Still 400km to go.. You can always read abt my epic journey 2moro :) Good night!
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler having chai at #Amrita bakery, ettimadai near #coimbatore. One of old hangouts.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler on #Tamilnadu state #SETC bus crawling along to #Coimbatore. Cant help its uphill all the way from #Trissur
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
Onnum parayenda. Ithrayum slow aanennu orthilla. RT @4sHwiN: @vadakkus SETC odukkathe slow alle?
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler finally reaches #coimbatore. Having chai in coimbatore
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
Really, there are no frequent buses from #coimbatore to #salem as well, as #KLBLRTraveler finds out.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
Another day, another #SETC: #KLBLRTraveler begins Leg 4 of journey #kerala to #Bangalore. Leaves #Coimbatore for #Salem.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler in the cabin of the bus, behing the driver. What a view of the road! And this #SETC is fast. Aleady left #CBE city
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 4, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler has reached #salem. Converted cabin seat into berth and slept peacefully on the #CBE #salem route
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#Salem central bus stand has become filthy and littered, once it was clean, remembers #KLBLRTraveler
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler watches daybreak, at #Salem bus stand.#tamilnadu
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler boards a #TNSTC nonstop from #Salem to #Bangalore for the last leg of the journey. Plans to sleep.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler has had 5 chais from #Salem. They still taste good.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler reaches #krishnagiri, and learns that the inevitable has happened: Tyre Puncture
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler and other passengers disembark while tyre is fixed. Fortunately puncture occured in front of #Krishnagiri #TNSTC depot
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler on 5th Leg of the journey from #Kerala to #Bangalore: #Salem to Bangalore. Tyre puncture of #TNSTC bus at #Krishnagiri
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler notices that bus conductor sounds and talks like #Tamil comedian #Senthil.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
@kaprasanna LOL yeah wouldn mind but will have to hurry to office :)
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
Havent reached there yet. On a travel odeyssey #KLBLRTraveler :) RT @ivan457: @vadakkus What's #news in #Bangalore?
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler goes off in search of chai shop.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
Puncture is fixed and bus arrives. #KLBLRTraveler resumes journey.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
Guess #TNSTC does not believe in matters like timings and stuff, wonders #KLBLRTraveler. Bus again stops, this time for tea.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
Chai session over. #KLBLRTraveler resumes journey, which hopefully will not have any more interruptions. #TNSTC
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
Sign on the highway side: 'Safe driving is like breathing: Dont stop it'. Huh?? #WTFQuotes #KLBLRTraveler
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler misses his #Bangalore – #Kerala – #Bangalore driving days.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
Guy on #Pulsar overtakes #KLBLRTraveler #TNSTC bus. His speedo shows 62. #FAIL
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
Another sign on the roadside: 'Breakfast Reddy'!!! Huh?? #WTFSigns #IndianEnglish #KLBLRTraveler
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler reaches #Hosur. Finally. Contemplates getting off and boarding a #KSRTC bus.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#TNSTC bus #megafail. Stops at all random places to pick people. Unfortunately no #KSRTC buses in sight #KLBLRTraveler
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler reaches final hurdle: Crosses into #Karnataka. Byes, #Tamilnadu
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler notices: Athibele in #Kannada, Athipalli in #Tamil' Athippaala in #Malayalam.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler reaches Electronic City!! wOOt! Home Stetch! No taking flyour but. :( #Bangalore
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
He did it! #KLBLRTraveler reaches Silk Board, gets off the damn #TNSTC bus, relieved. The odyssey about to come to a close. #Bangalore
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler basks in the silk board sun. Contemplating the last 19 hours. Argues with auto guy. #bangalore
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler spots a #RollsRoyce Silver Phantom with #Dubai registration!! In #BTM #Bangalore
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
#KLBLRTraveler takes a look at himself: dirty, filthy, sweaty, tired, matted hair, red eyes but feels it was totally worth it!
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
19 hours 3 States 600 kilometers 7 Buses 3 Autos 16 chais. Mission Accomplished! #KLBLRTraveler #Kerala #Bangalore Odyssey draws to a close.
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
Fait Accompli, #KLBLRTraveler signing out. Thanks @kaprasanna @phanirajkvs @ivan457 @4sHwiN
— vadakkus (@vadakkus) April 5, 2010
Thank you for reading!
